Sweet, Sweet Shame

I went running again this morning.

It probably looked more like shambling but I couldn’t find it in me to care.

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I think I made it about a block before snot began spraying out of my nose with each explosive exhale.  Run one block, walk one block, run one block, walk one block. 

That’s what I was supposed to do.

What actually happened was that I started off from the house with joy in my heart and a spring in my step while whistling a merry tune.

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Later, when I came to, I was in a strange neighborhood with a skinned knee, a bloody nose and missing a shoe.  A large chunk of my right buttock had bite marks.

People bite marks.  

Like some evil grin had attached itself to my hiney and wouldn’t let go.

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My only recollection was of a large and overly amorous hermit looking lady running out of her shrub covered shack shouting “Wait up Love Muffin!”

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Now, I thought I was fast, but this mountain of heaving aggression had gained on me like a lightning strike with sheer determination on her face.

I don’t remember much after that but I’ve been left with a strange sense of humiliation and I can’t seem to stop blushing.

I may just run that way again tomorrow…

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