It’s Friday. 

A day to finish up the work week and possibly relax your way into the weekend. 

But noooooooo…..

I was in such a foul mood yesterday. Itching for a fight all day long. I was ready to argue against the color of the sky, Eskimos needing ice and the fact that Chuck Norris could in no way beat the living crap out of me. 

I decided that the best course of action was to pour twenty pounds of ice over the beers that were left in the cooler, peruse the selection of cigars and relax in the garage. 

I relaxed. Relaxed some more. After that I relaxed a bit. Then, after all of that relaxing, I decided I need to relax for a while. 

The next thing I knew, the beers were gone and I was two cigars in and it was time to go to the house. 

Of course we all know that after a bit of boozing, fast food is tantamount to the well being of your soul and although I didn’t have Taco Bell, I had visited Mexican Restaurant Row over in KCK earlier in the day and had a twelve pack of tamales
and some carnitas in tow. 

Four tamales and a fist full of carnitas later, my food lust was sated & I immediately fell asleep in front of the tv. 

On this lovely Friday morning I’m paying the piper. Only this one has a pipe ORGAN. 

For the last forty minutes I’ve been in the pool trying not to hurl my morning juice and doing my best imitation of a dying fur seal trying to escape a killer whale. 

If you could hear me under water it would sound kind of like
“Huuuuunnnnggghhhh (shallow breath) huuuuuunnngghhhh…”

It’s. Un. Pretty. 

I need to go home and relax…