They say that cigars can stunt your growth.

Well, after many years of unimpeded growth I thought “Why not give them a try?”

I hadn’t realized that they were so expensive but I figured that if they were such a handy weight loss tool I’d go ahead and make the investment.

I had about eleven of them down before someone told me that I wasn’t supposed to eat them.

No wonder.  

They tasted horrible but my best guess was the old adage “If it’s good for you, it probably tastes bad”.

I smoked a couple of them after that and I must admit, I felt a little queasy.

I apparently had a green pallor that one of the Aqua-Ettes commented on.

Me: “Good morning :)”

Samantha: “You look like sh*t.”

Me: “Gee, thanks…it’s the new diet.”

As I swam along, my inner self realized that I’s made a huge mistake and that I’d be paying for it in short order.