They say that cigars can stunt your growth.
Well, after many years of unimpeded growth I thought “Why not give them a try?”
I hadn’t realized that they were so expensive but I figured that if they were such a handy weight loss tool I’d go ahead and make the investment.
I had about eleven of them down before someone told me that I wasn’t supposed to eat them.
They tasted horrible but my best guess was the old adage “If it’s good for you, it probably tastes bad”.
I smoked a couple of them after that and I must admit, I felt a little queasy.
I apparently had a green pallor that one of the Aqua-Ettes commented on.
Me: “Good morning :)”
Samantha: “You look like sh*t.”
Me: “Gee, thanks…it’s the new diet.”
As I swam along, my inner self realized that I’s made a huge mistake and that I’d be paying for it in short order.