The Dark Side Of Love

Love is a many splendored thing.

It also has a dark side.

One of the dark sides of my many loves is dark chocolate.  And ice cream.  And dark chocolate ice cream.


When my wife arrives home to find me passed out and snoring on the couch with some weird foamy chocolate sauce dribbling out of the corner of my mouth (back off ladies, she saw me first…) and a brown goatee when I don’t sport facial hair she knows that I’ve found the stash (Because she’s an enabler!  That’s right woman, I just outed you! >;)) and I’ll be spending more near death experiences knuckle dragging in the shallow end of the pool trying desperately to work off the spare tire that surrounds my spare tire.

This morning as I entered the pool room or “Aquatic Center” at the gym which consists of a three lane pool, a 12 person hot tub(I use the term “hot” very tongue in cheek, it’s more like a tepid tub) that works three days out of every month and a locker/shower room* where the hot water seems to arrive from the dead center of the Hades Highway glacier in Juneau, Alaska, I spied Samantha L. Jackson.


Various punctuation marks were flying out of her mouth and she was gritting her teeth.

As I got closer I saw something that made me smile from ear to ear and made her even angrier.

At the corner of her mouth was a little chocolate sauce and one colored sprinkle.


Me:  (Pointing) “What’s that?”

Samantha: (Wiping her face with the back of her hand) “Breakfast.”

Seriously girl, if I was like, oh…138 years old, you would be mine.


*The locker room, sketchy at best, is now closed for 4-6 weeks for maintenance so the icicle shower isn’t available.  My pride is greatly relieved…


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