The other day as I was holding back my dog paddling tears of shame, Samantha L Jackson happened to walk in and I realized (aside from the projectile swearing) why I enjoyed seeing her on a regular basis.

She reminded me of a cake pop.

Not just any cake pop mind you, but a blue hawaii’an flowery printed cake pop that smelled lightly of fresh linen and baked goods and misted with a generous coating of gravel.

on top of her beautifully sculpted legs is a perfectly round, vending machine powered orb that is the rest of her person and I find her delightful.

Cake pops are a wonderful little bite and yes, having attended a multitude of nuptials I have partaken in one or two (seriously, who’s counting…) but sticking her in my mouth is a frightening thought and may or may not carry federal charges so I’ll simply enjoy her company and imagine the savory experience of a granite covered pastry on a lollipop stick.

Although, the limestone in the driveway is looking inviting…