Meanwhile, back at the pool…
When I arrived today, the place was packed! I’m pretty sure there’s some sort of “We’re gonna make you quit” conspiracy.
Being ever vigil, I’m prepared for this sort of insurrection & I discreetly pulled a Baby Ruth out of my bag, slipped it into the back of my shorts & walked to the edge of the pool. As I turned around, it slipped from my shorts & directly into lane two.
I don’t believe I’ve ever seen the elderly & infirm move quite so fast! The cries of anguish from lane two were ear piercing, the Aqua-ettes were doing a fine impression of Jesus walking on water in their mumuits* & I saw an old woman in a plastic water wheelchair leaving a wake going up the handicap ramp. Moses in lane three parted the waters & levitated through the skylight.
* I’m pretty sure Jesus wasn’t panicking in place on the water but the ladies sure were!
Also, you heard it here first folks. Mumuits – The Mumu swimsuit.