It Was Easier Today

It was easier today.
I’m super suspicious and I get the feeling that body parts will begin to fall off throughout the day.

My arms and hands however, are shaking like a leaf. I tend to type on my phone with one finger and so far my typing feels like I’ve got delirium tremens much like a drug addict on lockdown. It’s taken me 45 minutes to get this far. I type a few words, misspell several and try to erase by pressing the M button 16 times in a row. My drug is every food ever ever ever and it seems that my only cure is chlorine (although I may dabble in a little yoga and lumberjacking… you’ll be the first to know)
This morning began like many others.
I cried a little, snot ran down my face and I made those little hiccuping noises while hitching my breath.
When I looked up and realized there were once again horrified onlookers I slipped into the pool gracefully. And by gracefully I mean I stood up, wiped my nose on my forearm, tripped on the side of the pool and fell flat on my belly with a wet smacking sound, bruising my chin and fragile ego, then rolled into my lane “gracefully”.
Everything went mostly well after that except for an elderly lady I’ll call “Peggy” who blazed past me every other lap while carrying an Olympic weight bar and some powdered donuts.

I have no idea how those donuts stayed dry and I’m gonna have to ask her about it.
*** Good morning all

Btw, one of the Glamour Boys was here this morning and he can’t wait to tell the Aqua-ettes that I’m once again fair game.

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